he is really quite something: did the preparations for the colombian pentagon,

gave a 150 million dollars loan to the illegal coup d’etat leaders in honduras…

(as the thrown elected president threatened to destroy the international pharmaceutical giants in the country by going generic)

continued with torture and killing activities in Guantanamo,

braved palestinean authorities to quiet up the american arms shipment he authorized for the gaza attack ,

continued the war in pakistan and afganistan over control for the opium market,

oh!  and he also won the novel peace price…

the world sucks

]]> http://bayodi.wordpress.com/2009/10/21/obamas-trill-2/feed/ 0 sanuka http://bayodi.wordpress.com/2009/09/02/92/ http://bayodi.wordpress.com/2009/09/02/92/#comments Wed, 02 Sep 2009 18:06:24 +0000 sanuka http://bayodi.wordpress.com/?p=92 ]]>

i searched for a special kindergarden, hoping to find something on the waldorf or montessori line, but around this part of the world i found very few alternatives and they were not available cause of distance, age or time… in the end we had to settle with a “regular” place… where toots in a class do the same things, under the same directions…

she is now enjoying the interaction with other little ones… and will come here only for 3 hours a day, for 3 months…before we move, but i’m still worried that this time will be enough to shut her brave spirits and tempered head! the problem worsens when i talk about this worry and no one seems to understand… i go for a lunatic… which i much rather be!  but then I hit the reality at work (with street children) and there i enter an existential contradiction that can’t be avoided!

babies, toots, children are so magical, so precious

my well headed tempered little toot became  so annoyed by this world that was falling apart on

desperation… “she is spoiled” daddy said, “or is it all that breastmilk”

i think she is growing up and needs the acknowledgement of her own feelings and drives

to be able to become

but by no way it is easy to cope with the agency in a rush

sometimes frustrating others annoying

specially if you have to deal with the talks form people around, such a heavy load that

probably will interfere with your best you to handle the situations…

Came across with this email written by a “psychologist” to all parents on how important

a good spank on time is to avoid children to become a criminal of some sort… ahhhh it is soo sad to read “professional” works on the discipline by fear strategy, as sad as the “cry out” for sleep or the “15 min one side then the other” on breastfeeding… my feelings is that everything is related in a way for society to continue functioning, the spectacle consumption society who needs empty beings to be filled up with goods… I know this is such a huge conclusion without much content, but i guess it can be figured out… is not that hard to imagine, at this moment in the world  there is people that lacks everything, and people that is so shallow that nothing can cure… the gloominess  that prevails goes back to our beginnings, maybe we should pay more attention into that… children, toots, babies should be granted with the benefits of a full human agency…

and then again patriarchy is to be blamed, I don’t know maybe is about the wrong people in a 

beautiful place, the load of work as for us has brought upon boredom and desinterest

now at about one year and 8 months, all alone in the cow land, I’m feeling the need for a bit of space on my own, to be able to cope happily with all this attachment and separations that have been going around, she is growing, she is becoming, she is beautiful… i need space, and so does she, i feel it but i still have all those fears that hunt me… specially about that “what if she needs me while i’m away”… if she feels i abandoned her, maybe right there, there is too much of me and my childhood…

i really wish I could find the right place, i know for many there is no choice… she should be able to interact with other children, other adults… all our close resources are so far away… in different corners of the world, wish i could fly them one at the time for some hours only, i know i should rest a little and i love her so

while walking in the oblivion of this world we merged into the smells and sights of the branches, leafs upon us

time passed… and the impossibility of my framework – we should be able to grow to- split what used to happen, what used to be…

nothing changes the joy of feeling your becoming

but i can not help it, i will miss your proximity

never had someone so close to me, to you…

Some words are open like a diamond 
on glass windows 
singing out within the crash of sun 
Then there are words like stapled wagers 
in a perforated book—buy and sign and tear apart—
and come whatever will all chances 
the stub remains 
an ill-pulled tooth with a ragged edge. 
Some words live in my throat 
breeding like adders. Other know sun 
seeking like gypsies over my tongue 
to explode through my lips 
like young sparrows bursting from shell. 
Some words 
bedevil me 

Love is word, another kind of open. 
As the diamond comes into a knot of flame 
I am Black because I come from the earth’s inside 
Now take my word for jewel in the open light.”

the only one with time to listen, to really care … I feel weird 

you will always be with me